Patience is a Virtue
Lessons on the underdog and not rushing the process inspired from a stupid comment.
Just yesterday I got this comment on a recent video of mine,
“If you’ve been lifting anymore than 3 months u need to quit 💀”
(As in, referring to the fact that I hadn’t made sufficient progress by this guy’s standards, and so I should just quit)
Whilst I could send an angry reply or delete the comment, I think there’s actually a valuable learning lesson here - and that’s the value of patience, and the concept of “The Skinny-Fat Advantage”.
“The Skinny-Fat Advantage” - How the Underdog becomes the Overdog
The concept of the Skinny Fat Advantage is the idea that those who start with the “Skinny-Fat” Physique, where you have a bit of a belly but have weirdly skinny wrists and arms, actually get a better outcome from the gym because they started as the underdog and are disadvantaged compared to most people. That was me!
When I started, I wouldn’t have even been able to bench press the 20kg bar - I was able to do 12.5kg on the chest press machine.
Now, around a year on, my 1RM on the bench press is 68kg.
Whilst it’s not any record-breaking numbers, that’s a considerable amount of progress.
However, that’s not the case for most people, who might be blessed with genetic prowess. A friend of mine is just crazy strong naturally, and barely ever trains, and destroyed me in an arm wrestle last summer. (Yes, I am going to beat him in a rematch. No, I haven’t only started training my strength just to one-up my friend.)
Another friend was able to walk into the gym, with no prior training experience, and bench 40kg for reps like it was nothing. It took me the best part of 9 months to get there.
But, there’s actually a beauty in being the underdog - you have to work harder for the same results. This gives you so many more benefits than if you had a leg up. For me, I had to, and have to do more than my friends to force growth. Whilst some can dirty bulk and not gain hardly any fat, or can train just for strength and get massive hypertrophy gains, or have a natural six-pack, I had to make more sacrifices to get anywhere near the same results.
Through this, I’ve gained a lot more peace of mind. I’m confident in the fact that I’m doing everything I can to make the most of what I have, and am proud of the fact that I avoided the defeatist attitude that many share with whoever wrote this comment. There’s a subsection of people in the self-improvement space known as “black-pillers”, who discuss fatalistic views on dating, building muscle and whatnot because of their genetics. It’s also closely associated with the incel movement, one in which men blame women for their problems with dating. This is a very, very dangerous route to go down - and was what led to a Plymouth gunman to shoot and kill 5 people, before turning on himself.
I’m so grateful that I never came across or took onboard what these people say - and to anyone reading this who wants to start lifting weights, or anything ambitious for that matter, do not listen. You cannot ever allow yourself to adopt this victim mentality.
So, if you are thinking about starting at the gym, or anything that you might be disadvantaged at, don’t feel discouraged - see it as your ultimate advantage. Because you have to be more dedicated and commit more to the dream, it will not only be more valuable to you when you make progress to it or achieve it, but you will eventually outdo everyone else in the long-term, because when everyone else begins to plateau, you will have the knowledge and work ethic to go the extra distance.
The Value of Patience
When I started my YouTube channel about a month ago, I uploaded this video, and expected it to do very, very well.
It was the worst performing video I’ve made so far.
Yet, the video I made after that managed to go from my average of around 30-60 views, to almost 2k views just yesterday. I did not expect that at all.
I desperately wanted that first video to pop, and so I spent a lot of time trying to make it funnier to engage the viewer and add more clickbait, but in this pursuit of quick views, the content actually became lower quality.
But, when I realised that didn’t work, I tried to add as much value for the viewer as possible to my newer video. And, as luck would have it, that performed much better than I ever expected it to. Whilst it will be due to a combination of factors, like making a study video in exam season, I genuinely think that by stepping back, and just trying to give some value rather than trying as hard as I can to just get more views really enabled it to do well (At least by my standards at this point in time!)
I was more patient with this video. It took longer to make and was a labour of love. I didn’t expect it to do very well - around 200 views was my expectation, and it did 10x better.
Patience is truly a virtue and you will be rewarded for it. If I was impatient with my physique, like the commenter suggested I should, I wouldn’t be writing this, making videos, exercising, meditating, or any other self-improvement things. I would’ve quit, because I didn’t see results straight away.
The thing is, you never do. Nothing worthwhile is instant. So, trust the process, and try to enjoy the journey, because one day, with consistent effort and hard work, you will live to see your dreams become a reality.
Conclusion
This felt a bit odd to write, since I have to yet to accomplish my most ambitious goals, so I can feel a bit like a fraud sometimes! But, for me, finishing my GCSEs with great results was a dream for me, in the sense that we discussed here. It took a lot of dedication and sacrifice, and I learnt all the lessons here from that process. So, whilst I may not be the most experienced in this field, I hope that you can take something of value from this today.
Oh, and if you haven’t already, make sure to subscribe to the blog to get yourself a set of 6 free workout routines, and my YouTube channel. I post content like this every week, with a new video and blog post on fitness and bodybuilding, philosophy, mindset and anything else self-improvement.
Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you back here soon!
- To
DISCLAIMER
The content provided in these posts are designed to be educational and informative. I am not a medical doctor, psychologist, therapist, nutritionist, or registered dietitian. The contents of these emails should not be seen as medical, psychological, dietary, nutritional, or healthcare advice of any kind. Always consult a qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health.